Small Me, Big God - My Story of Living Life With God

What's new....

2008-10-01T23:46:00.003-05:00

Well, it's been a bit since I have updated. I promise there is a good reason! I have been SO busy lately. I have been covered up with work, school, and church since August! School is really tough this semester. Both of my teachers assign a lot of work - normally I juggle 2 classes well, but this time is tough. I'm putting in some heavy hours.

Work is going great! I recently applied to be a trainer at Arkansas Blue Cross Blue Shield and I got it! I have never worked so hard on trying to get a job in my life! But it definitely paid off. I start my training position on 10-20-2008. I had to complete a technical writing assignment, interview, and then I had to present a presentation to the 2 head haunchos of training and development. Even with all of that, I made it!!! Me and 3 others. It's so exciting.

Church is going well too. It's as busy as always - especially with the holidays coming up! But that leaves plenty of opportunities to get friends and family in church that normally won't go. :)

I know this post is short and sweet - but hey, it's an update!

Music Survey!! Post your answers!

2008-08-25T14:25:00.006-05:00

Some of the questions I want to ask may not pertain to you, but if you have an answer, I wanna know. :) Just post your responses as a comment. Again, I know some of you may not have an answer for all of it but just answer what you can.

1. What's currently playing in your CD/MP3 player?

2. Who is your favorite music artist at this time?

3. What are your top 5 favorite church songs?

4. Do you have a Christian artist that you enjoy listening to? (Who?)

5. What are your favorite types of music?

6. What is the most recent album/iTunes song that you have purchased?

Thanks for your input! I really appreciate it.

Another SCHOOL year in the life of...

2008-08-18T15:12:00.003-05:00

Well, here we go again. It's the first day of school for me. I'm taking some easy classes but MAN...my books were so expensive (now I'm broke!). Too bad the new library at First Assembly doesn't loan out current textbooks.

Normally I get excited about school when it's a new semester but this time around I really am not. I guess school just adds so much more to my already busy life but I know 5 years from now I'll be glad I did it...so I do it.

Starting a new semester is like having a clean slate... It's nice to know that I have the control to make this semester great or awful. Teachers can assign work but I get to decide if it's going to stress me out or not. If I can keep away from that procrastination that settles in after the first few weeks I'll be good to go! School is like anything else...you get out of it what you put into it. So, if I'm going to use my time going to class, I'm going to put some effort into it.

It's been a pretty busy week for me... My dad asked me to call the satellite people for him because I set up his new receiver for him but they need to adjust some settings or something. I haven't been home early enough to do that all week! Tonight I have class....sigh... Maybe I'll get it done tomorrow. Poor dad...no TV!

On the other hand, I've also been busy working at the church. It's always exciting to be a part of worship (especially when you are working with a great team like mine!!). I love to be a part of a passionate worship service. There is nothing more energizing...and exhausting! I love it.

There's just a lot going on. But I'm convinced that this is not a problem but rather it's an opportunity. The more that I learn, the more that I save, the more that I strive for....the better I'll be in the long run. As my married friends tell me, "Enjoy it while your single..." So I will take that advice and enjoy:

-Buying things I wanna buy (within reason)

-Hanging out

-Traveling

-Doing as much as humanly possible

-Spending an insane amount of time in the gym

-Being a dork

-Playing my keyboard at FULL volume

-Singing opera in the shower

I know all of these beautiful things will have to take a back burner one day...but for NOW...IT'S ON!

**Disclaimer**

This post doesn't really have a lot of merit but sometimes I just like to just say what's going through my head. Welcome to my head.

Sometimes I Feel Like This Too...

2008-08-09T07:26:00.001-05:00

Do YOU?

Life and Where It Takes Us...

2008-08-08T22:41:00.007-05:00

I cannot fathom the fact that I've been living this life for 25 years! It seems crazy. I think back to childhood where each birthday felt it would never come. But now they come and go with apparent ease. I can't believe that I have only been at 1st Assembly for four years now. It seems like I have always been a part of it.

I have been trying to think about what things I should have accomplished by the age of 25. They tend to be thoughts like this:

-I should own a house

-I should be married

-Most of my friends have kids (OMG, what are they thinking?!?)

-Shouldn't I have my degree by now?

-What do I really have to show for the past 25 years?

All I can say for sure is that I'm probably too hard on myself. I know I have done a lot of good things in my time. But in the big picture of life, I want to make a bigger difference. I intend to make the next 25 years mean much more than my first 25 years. I want to be a difference-maker. I want to be a world-changer. I want to let go of the past and start pushing for a better future.

I just don't have enough time...

2008-07-24T12:01:00.006-05:00

Wow, oh wow, I'm sore! I've been back in the gym and I'm trying to make it a part of my daily routine. I'm trying to get into shape. I'm not really sure what shape but in shape....

It's an interesting thing...time... I hear myself say over and over that I don't have enough of it. It's amazing to see just how much time you can find when you really want something. I remember when the new iPhone was coming out. I worked crazy hours that week so that Friday, July 11th, I could wait in line and not have to worry about being late to work. You can find the time when you want to.

So many times when I consider going to the gym I just decide that I have more important things to do. The fact is that I have the time but I choose to use it doing something else.

-I wonder how many times I've cheated at relationships with the excuse of having no time.

-I wonder how many times I've blown off my homework because I'm too busy. There's no telling.

-I wonder how many times I pass up opportunities to spend time with God because I don't have the time.

-I wonder how many times I've skipped out on the gym because I don't have enough time.

The activity is not the problem. We can all find enough activities to keep us busy. I need to keep my priorities in line. My schedule will show you my priorities. So, I've decided that it's time to invest a little more into myself. I've decided to invest a little more in my spiritual walk. I've decided to work harder in my classes. I've decided to invest more time into my friendships.

So, don't be upset with me if I can't make it to all of the activities that come around - after all - I don't have enough time. ;)

An Update/God's Presence

2008-06-24T12:29:00.004-05:00

Okay so yesterday I went to tan. I've been trying to get ready for the trip to Dallas next week. I plan to be outside quite a bit and I didn't want to burn. So I went in yesterday to tan. I have tanned maybe 5 times this year. I'm not dark but I have a little bit of a base tan so the guy at the salon tells me to go the full time of the bed....BAD IDEA - I'm so red today. It doesn't really hurt but I'm a bit annoyed that I listened to him - I knew better!!!

I have to admit that this week feels like the longest week in eternity. I am so ready to head to Dallas for theDeepening next Monday. It seems to be the one time a year that I can get away and really clear my head. I'm looking forward to being challenged and pushed forward.

In the meantime.... Work.

For some reason, I have had trouble sleeping lately. I either can't go to sleep or I will wake up around 3am. I have been quite the insomniac. If you received a facebook comment from me in the middle of the night - sorry, I was really bored. But at the same time - being up in the middle of the night feels like bonus time. I get a lot of junk done when I can't sleep. I figure if I'm losing sleep it might as well be worth it.

This week is filled with loads of laundry and packing as I get ready for theDeepening. Last night I did some laundry - oh joy... I know I'll have to do some more by the end of the week.

Okay so on to the good stuff...

Last Sunday night we had our "connecting with God" service at First Assembly. It was a very touching service for me. I don't really understand it but sometimes I'm much more sensitive to what God is doing - this was one of those nights. Throughout the entire night I found myself fighting back tears of thankfulness for the goodness that God has shown to me. There are so many times that I fail, but He is so good to me. He loves me anyway. Sometimes it's not even that I have failed but merely that I feel like a failure but yet He runs to me and gives me hope. I just found myself again in God's presence - just wanting to be close to my Savior. Nothing else mattered. I just wanted to be there. I didn't care if we sang another song. I was looking to see if my neighbor was feeling what I was. I just closed my eyes and sang my own song to Jesus. I made it up right then. I was lost in His presence.

There is nothing like God's presence. It makes everything else seem so small. That problem - insignificant. That pain - no longer hurts. That fear - gone.

God's presence pushed everything but Him away. Nothing can compare. Just thinking back on Sunday night brings me a peace even now. I can't wait to be in God's presence.

"Here in Your presence

We are undone

Here in Your presence

Heaven and earth become one

Here in Your presence

All things are new

Here in Your presence

Everything bows before You"

Big Decisions...

2008-06-13T16:11:00.003-05:00

Sometimes in life there are huge turning points. There are times when you have to decide. There comes a moment when it's now or never. I love it in those moments when my friends make the RIGHT choices. But man, I hate it when they don't. It's a catch 22.

I've noticed a pattern in these types of decisions. Most of the time when someone makes the wrong decision they know it. They tend to avoid anyone who is going to tell them it's the wrong thing to do. And they make these decisions quickly without consulting anyone for help. They know that it's wrong but they want to figure that out for themselves.

Also, I've noticed that when right decisions are made they tend to be thought out over time and they consider the thoughts of leaders, mentors, and friends that are in their lives. After all, what is the point of having those relationships if you can't utilize them in these types of moments? It's important...talk to them.

It's just a part of human nature to feel entitled to have the things we want. We feel like we deserve them. We deserve to be happy right now, this minute. So in that, we rush into decisions that feel good for the moment but they have only a negative lasting impact on life in the long run.

The truth is that if you don't think it's worth waiting for, then you should run from it. If you are making a choice because of an emotional feeling, table it. Give it some time. Ask a friend about it. Talk to a mentor. Don't rush into it. The best things won't necessarily happen right when we want them, but they will happen if you are patient and if you wait for the RIGHT time.

Randomness...

2007-08-12T10:37:00.001-05:00

Okay, so it MAY have been a while since I have posted. :)

It's been an interesting week... I went to Memphis on Monday...on the way home I had my very first blow out. Thank God for OnStar because it was dark and I didn't have a flashlight. They put my spare on and I made it home. Tuesday I went to Sam's and put a new tire on the car - $88 - not too bad, but still. Then I worked on Wednesday and had church and all of that stuff. On Thursday I had to go to the dentist because a filling in one of my back teeth came out!!! The dentist decided that we need to crown the tooth - $785...OUCH - but thank God...I found out my insurance is paying for most of it and I only have to pay $177!!! Thank You, Jesus!!

Anyway, other than that - it has been a very busy year. Sometimes it is hard to stop and update a website ya know?

I also think this is the summer of good movies. I have seen so many DECENT movies this summer already and several others that I want to see.

Can I also just shout out to all of the August birthdays? The best people are born in August! :)

Steph Ott, Jaquita Lindsey, John Rennard, Clark Trim, Taylor Whitfield, Lindsey Granderson, and many others that I am sure I am probably forgetting.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL OF YOU!!!

It seems that the busier I get the less I see all of my friends - for that I apologize!! I miss you guys and let's hang out soon!

Well....back to life...

Chris

:o)

Being an author....

2007-04-25T15:41:00.000-05:00

Being an author is a very prestigious occupation. You use all of your imagination to create intricate stories with developing characters and plot twists and turns. You work with literary items such as foreshadowing, irony, and metaphors. Your job is a tough one. Most authors have agents and publishing companies breathing down their necks to hurry up and get the next chapter done. Hurry up and finish the book. I think sometimes that is exactly how we treat God.

The Bible refers to God as an author many times. He is the beginning and the end, the author and finisher of our faith. He is publishing the story of our lives while intricately weaving our story with His story. It’s amazing to think that our lives have been intricately thought out and planned by a God who is so big. Just the thought of it makes me feel really small. We are a part of a story that is much larger than we are. We are a small part of an eternity-wide story. The thought that God never had a beginning and God never has an end blows my mind. He is infinite; we are not. He is forever; we only have eternal life through Him.

While it is amazing to know that God is so big, it’s so awesome to know that He still knows each one of us and loves us. He has a separate story for each of us to fulfill. No story will be the same. No life will be a duplicate. There are over 6 billion people alive today and none of us have the same story. God has a plan for all 6 billion of us. He is writing your story right this moment.

It’s like a great novel; I just wonder what is going to happen next. I am excited about this journey with God. I am glad that God has an amazing plan for me above what I could ever write for myself. I will learn to trust Him more and more everyday.

It reminds me of a great song…

'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
Verse 1
’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know “Thus saith the Lord!”

Refrain
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more!

Verse 2
O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to trust His cleansing blood;
Just in simple faith to plunge me
’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!

Verse 3
Yes ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest, and joy and peace.

Verse 4
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,
Precious Jesus, Savior, friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,
Wilt be with me to the end.

Dealing with anxiety.

2007-04-11T18:05:00.000-05:00

Do you remember the times as a child when you were so excited about Christmas that you couldn't sleep? You would lie awake for hours to see "Santa Claus" bring the presents. I remember those fun times. I also remember feeling so excited when dad would come home from work--do you remember those moments? It's amazing that as a child anxiety is a good thing...but oh how it changes when you reach your adult years....

Suddenly you want medication to calm your nerves...you want just a moment of peace...when you come home from work the last thing you want to deal with is a nagging child... Man, what has changed our perception??? Why have we allowed so many things to steal our joy? And how do we recover?

I think we just allow life to make us so busy that we begin to take the good things for granted....suddenly our job becomes more important than our relationships...finishing your new project takes you away from your kids... I am sure we could come up with thousands examples. But the point is that what we really cherish, what we love, gets the back-burner treatment. Why do we do that???!?! I think we just assume that because people love us they can handle our abuse or they will "always be there."

It is so important that we don't estrange our friends, family, kids, etc. We have to protect our relationships. Although these people love us, at some point you could cross a line that you cannot come back from. We just have to constantly remind ourselves just how important these things/people are to us. We have to remember the great memories and what a joy it is to be alive. We have to remember that no matter what the circumstances, God will bring us joy. No matter whats struggles come our way...God is with us in the fire. No matter where we go or what we experience...God is with us and when we choose Him, we choose joy. So take a deep breath and allow God to take away your anxiety and embrace Him and His joy.

Life is so much better with God...how did I ever make it without Him?

Finding your place....

2007-02-07T13:28:00.000-06:00

Have you ever applied for a new job thinking, "Man, if I could only land this job--I would be right where I need to be. I could be making the money I need. I could be doing big things." Or maybe you think, "If I could just find the right relationship, I would be happy." Or maybe, "If I could just buy that house or get these things--I would be right where I want to be." Here's the kicker. What do you do when you have those things? How does finding that place make you feel?

I know we all have some preconceived idea of what we want for our lives--but it's not always realistic. We all have big dreams of making a lot of money, having a family (that is actually healthy), or whatever our minds can dream up. Here's my question. Is what I want really where I belong? Am I struggling to get somewhere that I will not even be happy when I get there?

Don't get me wrong--big dreams are great to have. Goals are a positive thing. Here's the principle: Know who is directing your path.

It is so interesting that we think we know where we are going. What we find is that when we get there it ends up being nothing like what we thought it would be. That is why God is so important to have in your life. I have to have His guidance. I have to know that I am going the way that He knows is best--otherwise, I will just end up disappointed.

It's so easy to think that I know the right way. It's so easy to quit trusting God. But that won't get you to the best places. Without God you have no compass and you will get lost. In my life, when I quit looking to God for the answers--I still found answers--the wrong ones. They lead to places I never thought I would go. I made decisions I never should have made. I got into relationships that I never would have if I would have listened to God.

I am so glad to say that God is my compass. I can follow Him anywhere and I can know that it is perfectly safe. He is my protector. My guide. And He leads me to the best places in life. I don't have to worry because He is in control. I am so glad that I quit trusting in just myself. God has placed me where I could never be had I tried it on my own.

Choose to trust Him! His way is the best.

An old worship song that I still connect with...

2007-01-24T08:35:00.000-06:00

Here I am once again
I pour out my heart
For I know that You hear
Every cry You are listening
No matter what state my heart is in

You are faithful to answer
With words that are true
And a hope that is real
As I feel Your touch
You bring a freedom to all that's within
In the safety of this place
I'm longing to . . .

Pour out my heart
To say that I love You
Pour out my heart
To say that I need You
Pour out my heart
To say that I'm thankful
Pour out my heart
To say that You're Wonderful!

Everything is better in teams....

2007-01-23T11:40:00.000-06:00

I have been reminded over and over again over the past few weeks that every thing is better in teams. At work, for the past two-three weeks, there has been one of my teammates out of the office. Let me just say that there are only 3 of us in this division--when one is out--the rest are overloaded! I am not complaining. I really just appreciate the entire team more. I love it when everyone is here and things are go smoothly. I hate the feeling of panic--like you won't finish your work for the day. It just makes you appreciate what others bring to your team! I'm so glad to have the co-workers that I have. I cannot imagine doing all of this work completely by myself. I think I would go crazy.

Can you imagine life without God? Man! That would stink. We would work to the bone day after day to just get ahead. There would be no blessing or favor of God. Everything would be just up to us. Can you imagine how badly our lives would be messed up if God wasn't leading us and providing for us? I'm so glad that He is on my team. I feel reassured that every will be okay. I feel like I can make it! I know that I can make it through anything with Him on my side.

Thanks God for reminding me again.

Made family...

2007-01-08T11:36:00.000-06:00

From Ephesians Chapter 1:

5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. 6 So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.[b] 7 He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. 8 He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.

It wasn't enough that God chose us from the beginning of time. He makes us family.

You know sometimes adopted children have a bad connotation. They are assumed to have been hopeless cases. More than likely they were abused. They might even be bad kids. Maybe their parents died in a car wreck. Maybe they were abandoned. Maybe this is true. Through some unfortunate event--these children have found themselves helpless. They have nothing and nowhere to go--and then someone takes them in. This family goes through a lengthy, painful process of being interviewed and questioned and everything has to be just right--all to help a child who needs a family.

Our situation is not so different. We are lost, helpless--unable to fix our lives. We seek out a way to make things better but nothing works. We seek out things to make us feel better but in the end it is short-lived. And then one day God enters the picture. He offers us forgiveness. In His kindness He shows us mercy. He provides a love that we have never fathomed. He accepts us into His family--faults and all. He adopts us. He changes our names. He literally gives us a new life to which the former has no control. He offers us freedom from the past. All of this is offered to us because God went through the horrifying process of sacrificing His son so that we may experience real life. Life in Christ. He offered everything to us--before we even cared that He existed. He made a way out before we ever made our way in. He has loved us in ways that we will never realize. He truly has showered down goodness on us. How can we do anything but love Him. The only appropriate response is worship.

Chosen

2007-01-03T15:33:00.000-06:00

Ephesians Chapter 1:

3 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. 4 Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.

Doesn't that make you feel small? God who created the entire world, chose you even before He created this place that we live. He didn't make you by accident--you are chosen. Not only are you chosen, but you are also called to be holy. What a privilege!

Can you imagine serving a god who did not call you? Can you imagine going before a god who did not choose you but instead they deal with you only because they must?

Our God is available to us. He chooses to commune with us. In fact, the Bible shows us that this is his greatest desire. He desires relationship with His creation. God is so much different than us. Rather than punishing us and lashing out when we mess up--He still chooses us. He still calls us to holiness and offers a life that is faultless in His eyes. Not only does God extend a wonderful hand of mercy to us but He also chooses to bless us.

It is a miserable feeling to run from God. When you run from Him, your life loses purpose. When you leave God's presence, you will try to find something to replace Him--but it won't work. You will always feel unfulfilled. Having a relationship with God is the only way to have a fulfilled life. Finding your place in ministry is one of the greatest feelings on earth. Finding your own personal way to serve God is liberating.

I know there have been times in life when I have taken my focus off of God. It's not that I did not love God, but I began to view my relationship with Him as a fulltime job rather than a privilege. I began to confuse ministry with another night where someone needs me to work on something--or someone needs my help doing whatever. I lost my focus on loving God and doing it because I want to please Him. I began to do ministry because I felt like I was needed. If I didn't do it, who would? I have come to realize that God has literally billions of people on this earth much more talented and gifted than I am. He could replace anything I do in a split second but the reality of the situation is that He chose me. He called me to do this. He desires my relationship. He desires me to seek after Him.

When I step outside of my situation and look at it from God's perspective, my thoughts of work and necessity were just stupid. What does God possibly need? He created everything. He desires us. Our worship. Our devotion. Our love. He doesn't want us to "work" for Him. Ministry is serving Him because we love Him. Ministry is not working so that God will notice us. He knows us beyond what we could ever imagine. I think that if God knows the number of hairs that are on my head--He probably notices me a lot more than I would ever think.

I am chosen. Now I choose Him. I choose to love Him, to serve Him, to devote my life to Him. I choose to do ministry because I want to bless my Saviour. I choose to share Christ because there are so many others that God has chosen and they do not even realize it. I choose to trust Him because He is God.

I am chosen. Now I choose Him.

God, thank You for loving me. Thank you for caring enough about me to choose me and offer me a life faultless in Your eyes. Thank You for the privilege of getting to know You. Thank You for the opportunity to serve You. It is truly a blessing to be a part of Your will. Help me to guard my mind. Help me to always remember your calling on my life. Help to always come back to this very moment and realize that I am chosen--I am not here by accident but You have a plan for my life. Help to stay away from my plan and to always trust Your plan. Thank You for friends who don't give up. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for everything.

There is a Master plan--continued.

2006-11-16T11:32:00.000-06:00

From Psalms 127:

1 Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is wasted. Unless the Lord protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. 2 It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.

Yesterday I was blogging about the thought process of God being the owner of our lives. This scripture just reinforced that idea for me. What do I have that God did not give me? Did I get life from my parents? My parents cannot give me a soul—that only comes from God. Without God there is truly nothing.

This passage reminds me that we can do our own thing. We can take our own path. We can do everything possible to set ourselves up for greatness. We may even make a lot of money. We might end up being the CEO of the largest corporation in America—but without God it is all just waste. There is no true happiness without God’s presence being apparent in your life. You can never fill complete without Him. (No matter how successful you are in this life)

What good does it do to store your treasures on the earth? After all, I have never seen a hearse pulling a U-Haul trailer. You can’t take it with you. Why do we spend our lives reaching out to get things that will only appease us for moments rather than looking up and reaching out for things that will change eternity? Each of us has the opportunity to change eternity. Each child of God has the responsibility to change eternity—it was not an option. You must share your faith. Jesus didn’t say, “If you are outgoing—then go into the whole world.” No, he said, “Go.” There are no limitations. There are no requirements. Just go. Share. Tell the world. Change eternity.

God has a divine plan for every person He created. He doesn’t just create some for no purpose—every soul matters. God loves EVERY soul. He has a plan for each one. I was talking to some friends last night and this subject came up. Can you imagine how many people are not fulfilling God’s plan? Maybe they have not heard the gospel yet. Maybe they are running from God. Maybe they just don’t think they are good enough to do work for God. I don’t know. But do you remember a toy from years ago called the Lite Bright? When I think about how many people are not fulfilling God’s plan, I picture this toy. God has a specific, wonderful plan for His people. Everyone plays a role in His plan. But the ones who choose not to follow or have not received the invitation to follow are missing. Instead of having a completed, beautiful picture with all of the pieces in place—we don’t see the whole picture. Something…someone is missing.

I know there will be some who choose to not follow Christ but I want to be committed to reaching those who will become a part of God’s big story, His Master plan for our lives. I want to know that I doing my part to change eternity. I want God’s big picture to be realized. Looking at the picture right now may not always make sense. It may not be clear what God is doing but we can know that inevitably God’s big picture will be realized and His big picture is going to be amazing.

There is a Master plan...

2006-11-15T11:18:00.000-06:00

You know life has its ups and downs. There are no paths to go around the valleys/mountains--you have to go through them. Sometimes it can just seem unfair, can't it? How can you go from an extremely wonderful spiritual time where you feel completely close to God to feeling as if you cannot connect with Him at all?

These are all questions that I believe we all ask from time to time. The truth is--life is not fair. Life just happens. But I am convinced that even in the worst of times that God knows exactly where we are. His love is still there-wherever you may find yourself. If you have lost everything and are living in the streets--God is there. If you have become independently wealthy but it has seperated you from your loved ones--God is there. If you have never heard the gospel and you are living in a place where it is illegal to spread the gospel--God is there. The truth is--God is everywhere--His love cannot be fathomed.

When you are facing a tough time in life, it is so important to count your blessings. It will help you to know that God is still working and He does have a plan for your life. Always remember that. You cannot go farther than the reach of God's love--it's everywhere. His plan doesn't stop for you when you mess up. The plan is still there. This is not to say that sin does not have a consequence because it does--but God still loves you the same and He still has a plan for your life. God doesn't give up on you. Even when you don't believe in yourself--He believes in you. He knows what you are capable of. He knows what is in store for your life. You can trust Him.

It is so hard to let go of this ownership mentality and just give it to God--but when you do--when you actually surrender everything to God--life becomes so much easier. When you realize that you are not the owner of your life but instead you are the steward of God's gift of life--it is completely freeing. You don't have to live in stress--God has a plan. You don't have to be burdened down with worry--God has a plan. When there is not enough money--God has a plan. When your friends aren't there--God has a plan. When you are dying--God has a plan.

Who are we to try and comprehend or second guess God's plan? Why do we think we know everything? Why does God's plan have to make sense to us? Why can't we just follow Him regardless of how good it feels? Why can't we just be obedient? Why are we so hard-headed?

God is not asking us for much--just obedience. Why is that so hard? We just assume that we are the only ones who know what is good for us. I know from experience that what we assume is good for us is not necessarily what is best for us. God knows best. We can trust Him. We can avoid so much pain and hurt if we just learn to trust God and follow Him. I don't know about you but I want to follow Him better. I want to be more obedient. I want to know that I am taking the right steps to propel me into God's perfect plan for my life.

I know He has wonderful things planned. I can't wait to see what they are!

God's amazing love...

2006-11-08T10:54:00.000-06:00

From Romans 8:

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

What a powerful statement. Are you convinced that God's love is that strong? Can you actually imagine a love with no boundaries? That's tough stuff.

No matter what I do or where I go--God still loves me. No matter how many times I mess up--God still loves me. No matter how many times I turn my back on Him--God still loves me. There is no place that I can go that God's love will not reach me. The one thing that can never be stolen from me is God's love. This great love is not only available to me but it is available to all of God's creation. How big does God's heart have to be in order to love so many people in such a way? I love the way this song describes God's love:

The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
The guilty pair, bowed down with care,
God gave His Son to win;
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.

Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.

When hoary time shall pass away,
And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall,
When men who here refuse to pray,
On rocks and hills and mountains call,
God’s love so sure, shall still endure,
All measureless and strong;
Redeeming grace to Adam’s race
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

I am truly speechless at the thought of God's love. I can't even comprehend that huge of a capacity to love.

God, Your amazing capacity to love makes me want to love more. I want to love You more. I want to love the homeless more. I want to care about Your people more. I desire to have a capacity to love like You do. I want to be able to love regardless of circumstances. I want to love regardless of how others feel about me. When I love others, I want them to know Your love is working through me. I want to experience Your heart, God. I want to know what that kind of love feels like. Help me to love like You do.

Loving God more than life...

2006-11-06T10:12:00.000-06:00

From Romans Chapter 5:

10 For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of his Son. 11 So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

What a profound thought. God—the creator of the universe—desires to be our friend. I have to ask myself why. Why would He? Sometimes I even ask God—why do you love us so much? But He does. He loves us in a way that we could never possibly imagine. I wish I had that capacity to love. I wish I could say that I would give my life for Christ—can you imagine? If it really came down to it, could I do it? I don’t know. I want to say yes, but I can’t say that with integrity. Here is the deal. I want to be that close to God. I want to follow hard after God. I want to be His friend. I want to be in relationship with the Creator of the universe. All of this has been made available to us through Christ and yet we as dirty sinners shun Him like the plague. I want people to know my passion for Christ.

I think of a missionary friend who was visiting recently. She made a couple of statements that I have heard before—but for the first time—I saw someone who really meant it. The question was asked to her—how do you live day to day facing the possibility of losing your life for following Christ? Her response was—“Beloved, I love Jesus so much. I eat, sleep, and breathe Jesus. I love Jesus more than my husband. You have to get to the point where He is everything to you. I love Jesus more than I love life itself.” (this is paraphrased, not word-for-word) How amazing is that? I just ponder that. How do you get to the point where Jesus is everything to you?

God change my heart. Help me to rely on you in everything that I do. Help me to be a more passionate follower. Help me to desire what Your heart desires. Increase my capacity to love. Increase my level of intimacy. Cause my heart to seek You. Draw me into Your presence daily. Help me to say that I love You more than life itself.